Unknown...

At any point of times in life, there are bound to be ups and downs, happy and sad, troubled and fun, stress and free, tough and easy moments... Today is one of the days that I just feel like alienating myself from the rest of the world. To be left alone. To be left unknown... not doing anything, not thinking about anything, not saying anything and hearing nothing...

Am I in a depression? Or is this a repeat of my midlife-crisis when i hit the Big 3?

Many believe that their soul-mates are their other half, my soul-mate who never once stop comforting me when i needed her has again comfort me without saying anything... reading her blog is enough to bring warmth to my heart...

From Womaninawetsuit - Ever felt

like you're sailing through life with/without purpose... What's your purpose? What makes you contented? What makes you happy? What makes you sad? What scares you? What thrills you? What makes you say, when you've reached the end of the road that, you have lived life.

Life is a journey, they say. Filled with windy crossroads. Some have it easy, some hardluck, some stumbled upon a path filled with cracks and thorns, fell, hurt themselves BUT got up, move on and find it leads to a beautiful garden. There are days when everything just falls right into place. We all know how to deal with good days. We live in it, we cherish it and sometimes we also take it for granted. We never really questioned why we have good days, or normal days, it just seems that's the way it's supposed to be.

But when life comes crashing down at us? We wonder. We question. We dwell. We blame. Why do bad things happen? Usually to intentionally slap us out of whatever stupor we are in at that moment. We starts questioning our beliefs. We start figuring out what is and what is not important to us. People usually dont change unless they feel sufficient pain to overcome their resistance to change. Change takes energy. And nothing energises like tragedy or regrets. It's a real slap in the face. Wake up, it says.

Someone once told me when you're in a dilemma or facing despair, talk about it. If you cant talk about it, you havent really thought about it. Sometimes you might find before you even finish relating your problem, you suddenly click and realise what you want to do. Give people who care about you a chance to offer you a hand.

Grief. We grieve when we lose something, a loved one, status, sense of safety, pets, possessions, beliefs. Like a physical injury, the recovery and healing process can take time. It cannot and shouldnt be rushed. When we're grieving, it's difficult to understand what's happening. Initially, we may have feelings of disbelief, panic, confusion, leading to annoyance, anger and inconvenience. When recovering from a death, feelings are more intense, painful and last much longer. There's an empty space where before there was a living human being. Life has been upset and it takes a while to adjust to the new situation. We have to adjust to life without that person. All parts of our being may be affected - emotional, physical, spiritual and social - but the overriding feeling is one of intense pain. Our pain and suffering is the price we pay for loving. Any pain is tiring. While we're going through the pain, it's difficult to believe that we'll ever enjoy life again. But in time our grieving will ease and gradually life will become more bearable and even pleasurable.
When we're in pain for whatever reasons, it is ok to grieve, it is ok to be sad. But dont mope around for too long, it usually makes it worst. Pick yourself up and try again, start afresh. Hope is based in reality - it's not optimism, wishing or dreaming. Facing up to dark and difficult truths enables hope to emerge and new doors to open.

I guess our purpose in life evolves as we grow, with events and influences we face everyday. You have one life. I have one life. It's surreal like that. If you think about the one life that you have, will it change your attitude towards living? will it help you with decisions in your life? would you have taken more risks? would you grab that opportunity that's right infront of you? would you then fight harder for what you want? would you want to make a difference? Dare to dream and dare to chase your dreams.